105 an inconvenient truth

"Esteemed future potential saviours of the world. No pressure. They are mobilising right now. Who they are and how they operate is beyond the scope of our current intelligence. What I can tell you is this, that there has been a maximum security breach in the collective imagination of planet earth. Do sheep dream of unelectric androids? Worse, but today's predicament rests on no less disturbing premises. Entities strongly influenced by the decade that you know as the 1980's are closing in on your city just as quickly as its boundaries are expanding and the frogs are reproducing. We need the big guy?" said Davis

Melanie, Erhard, and Koopa/Daly looked around. No big guy. 

"Who, Brandon?" asked Melanie, looking perplexed.

"Yes. If you want to slow the progress of this movement, find him. I've tried, but I missed him when I picked you all up. He was supposed to be there. He wrote me and perhaps some of the miscreants that will inevitably cause a great deal of trouble for you. I am a sentinel of sanity and I would love to help, but I have my own problems to worry about, and my next appointment is in 15 minutes. Good luck and Goodbye."

097

Lets recap, because I'm at a loss to completely place you in any useful linear continuum. Some one remind me why we're here. Davis being a complete tool.

This is not a cheap excuse for exposition. Koopa weighs in

But what if it is? Me pretending to be an invisible author

We're saving ourselves from the eighties. That's Mel (she's big(ish))

Specifically you're saving us from the eighties and doing your best to ignore me. This is Erhard

OUAEURVGHE Daly speaks
Translation: What are you doing? That's a stupid totally irrelevant question.

092

Melanie bent over and threw up. That was possibly the best ride she'd ever been on. Erhard crossed his arms and sneered. It wasn't clear if he was still upset about being drowned out by the buzz of Davis' arrival or if he was disgusted by Melanie's latest outburst. Davis looked quietly pleased irrespective of the root cause of his new comrades melancholy (not that their disparate dispositions were necessarily related). And Koopa/Daly continued to wail his/her indefetigable groan.

"What was that you just did?" said Melanie, after she'd recovered.

Davis knelt in starter block postition beside her "A valid question. We needed to get to safety. There's no telling how many agents of the eighties have already crossed over. So, I warped us here to this previously prepared secure way station, where I will brief you on what exactly the hell is going on."

"Good, but can you make it quick, I need to get back to the future, present, past or where ever we were to take care of some urgent, business." said Erhard

"Lets hear it, I suppose." said Melanie, when she really meant to say this is insane.

"OUAGHGHAO" said Koopa/Daly

"Excellent, lets begin then."

83.

ribit, ribit

"If you don't mind I was here first, and as you can see the situation is dire. Now you've said your piece about the 80's, horrible decade, but we've got our own problems to deal with." said Erhard

"With all due respect sir, with a wardrobe like that, you look to be the least qualified to make any comments on what was or wasn't, is or isn't fashionable. The 80's had its short comings to be sure, but it's ready to make a comeback." said Davis

"OAUGHUEHHE" said Daly and Koopa.

Erhard snuck a glance at his outfit, it was bright yellow and red, of course he knew that already, but he wasn't used to being insulted by strangers that materialised in brilliant flashes of light, he found it to be rather rude; All the more so, because his reclamation of the proverbial talking stick was so short lived, he'd been disarmed by the cocky guest almost immediately. He tried again" "Who said anything about fashion?" was all he could come up with. After that he thought of a million other things that would have been a hundred times wittier.

Melanie was about to make a psychological breakthrough and disencumber a portion of her inner child before these two strange men appeared on the scene, although they were no less strange than the man she was already dealing with, perhaps they leaned a little closer to normality than this ever-groaning zombie guy and for that she was resentfully grateful. Here she was getting bailed out again, same old Mel. Between these freaks, the redundant, overly abundant frogs; and the worst date of her life (the only date), she couldn't see how an invasion from the eighties could make things any worse.

"Authors with bad ideas, the return of the 80's, I don't understand." she said.

It looked like Erhard's attempts at heroism were marginally interesting at best to these people. They obviously couldn't be bothered with anything he had to say. Sometimes he didn't know what the point was in trying.

"All will be explained, friends." pronounced Davis, which was a rather forward relational label given that none of the group knew anyone else's name.

A ball of light surrounded them and shrank in on itself until they all disappeared. That's when Brandon showed up (and died).

61.

This is what it must have felt like to be John Hurt playing an idiot savant in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls. As far as Daly could tell no one could understand a word he was saying, mostly because he was speaking in low pitched groans. The woman he was accosting had leaped in response to his uninviting incomprehensible babble directly out of the rubbish bin she had been frequenting, retaining only the upper rim of its cylinder which adorned her thigh like an unattractive garter.

That's a good look, said Koopa without a hint of sarcasm

Like you'd have any sense of fashion. said Daly

It's always facinated me really.

Really? Please go on...Daly didn't really know what to say, Koopa could do the rest of the talking. The idea of a reptilian fashion maven trapped in his head only intensified his personal diagnosis of clinical insanity in the affrimative.

Well, to be honest I've always felt like a cow trapped in a bulls body.(were male reptiles even called bulls!?). This whole experience it's like I'm a beautiful butterfly breaking free from the restraints of my cacoon and my past life as a cataerpillar.

Now Koopa was the female consciousness of a male komodo dragon trapped in a man's body. That's progress.

52.

As Daly approached the large woman caught in an urban bear trap, his mind was locked in a continuous loop. What was this thing in his head? He'd been knocked out for a while, was hearing voices a common symptom of concussion? He tried to think back to psychology class. Credit misattribution? 'Illusory reversal of action & effect'? Could this be Schizophrenia?

I can hear you, do you think if you were crazy that you'd know it? The loop was broken, possibly he was just experiencing a strong case of confabulation. Maybe talking to another human would help.

"Ouaughhh."

This did little to put the woman at ease.

Koopa, WTF have you done to me?

40.

"I'm Koopa."

"No you're not."

"I was swallowed by a sea of frogs."

"Wha, What does that mean? Is that some kinda euphemism? Wait, why am I talking to you?"

"Yes. Um, no. I don't know"

"Koopa's a lizard, you're a voice in my head. I mean, if you're him, how do you know english? Never mind, I don't know why I'm playing along with this &*%$."

"It's all a very long story. Lets start with: I don't know."

12.

ribit, ribit.

Koopa's tongue wisped to the beat of the birth of the exponentially exploding frog population in his seemingly shrinking enclosure. It was as if Moses himself had come down from heaven, confused Daly's room with Egypt and unleashed holy terror on Koopa's habitat.

Koopa became concerned when the plague of frogs began to inhibit the use of his nostrils. This would never do, oxygen was a necessity.

Maybe the world was a horrible place were over eager consumer minded creatures eeked out an existence by claiming and controlling limited resources. Maybe there wasn't enough to go around. Deep thoughts for a reptilian brain.

The rapidly changing frightening new world he faced left him with few options. He could eat his way out of this mess, despite his lack of appetite or he could drown in the sea of frogs. Making decisions had never been his strong suit. He needed more time to think.

ribit, ribit.

4.

ribit, ribit

"I don't understand, he's not eating again. I'm going to have to start a damn pet shop just to get rid of these things."

"They're so cute though. I swear if the SPCA ever found out about this racket, you'd probably end up as Michael Vick's celly. Hey,I had this guy come into work today. You coulda fed him to your little beasty. Koopa probably feels guilty about eating the puppies, but you put another monster in there with him and he'd let loose, my guy woulda been perfect."

"That's dumb and you sound more depraved than I am."

ribit, ribit

"You're not depraved Daly, you're just misunderstood. Animal sacrifice is perfectly normal."

"Funny. Well C, shall we take one of these mutts for a walk while I think about what to do with them. I'm gonna drop by Simon's long the way. You shoulda heard him earlier. I mean I know he's crazy, but it's like he's constantly trying to out do himself."

ribit

"What are we gonna do there?"

"Go to the moon."

3.

Koopa sat solitary with a wisping tongue. Frogs hoped at the opposite side of the glass container. Koopa wondered why his life extended no further than a twelve foot radius. A pair of hands extended from overhead delivering a tasty fury creature. Koopa thought about eating it, but that just didn't seem very challenging anymore. The frogs started chirping.

1.

"I'm powered by the magic of sugar." Simon: Sugardelic Superstar

"What are you saying?" Daly: Inventive, Didactic, Inquisitor.

"Some people might call it an addiction, I prefer to call it an insulin spike."

"Aha, so what is it do?" Eyes beginning to show signs of concern.

"Glad you asked. It raises my blood sugar levels thereby releasing insulin into my system. The thing I don''t understand is that if the insulin's already there (in my body somewhere) then why does my body hold it back? Well ya know maybe I am addicted, don't tell anyone OK.

"Why not you just did, anything else?"

"Not that I know of, just the usual. Flying to the moon later today. It's one of my secret powers. Our secret now."

"Umm, what are you on?"

"Sugar!"

This last statement seemed to put a damper on the conversation.

When they came to themselves. Daly looked hesitant about something, visibly. Cerebraly he may have been indifferent, but I don't read minds.
If you could have seen them both they would have reminded you of The Gorillaz, not that ape-like contemporaneous ancestor of humans but the cartoon crappy band The Gorillaz. It's very distinctive.

They both smelled more or less the same. With their noses. However, Simon had been experimenting with other orifices without success. Food usually entered through the mouth & exited through the rectum, while undergoing several chemical reactions. Most of them unpleasant, but then there was insulin.

When Daly was a younger chap he had a pet dog, which was depressingly unoriginal, He decided then that it was his life's mission to feed pet puppies to his specially imported Komodo Dragon, the novelty was quite exciting. Canada hasn't been the same since. With the recent diet issues of Koopa (the Komodo Dragon), Daly's been in search of a new life's quest. Simon wonders if sugar is the answer.