He was survived by artists with far more talent, and he wasn't even dead yet. Erhard would have preferred direct offspring to continue his legacy, but if shove came to push he could always jingle up other peoples children. These days he'd prefer to explore other options.
Back in the 13th century he had an exceptional hit, but that was a different time, another place. In the 1930's he attempted a comeback only to discover that solo flutists were out of fashion, perhaps they were never in.
He'd like to have his pipe back now though. In his lips it became a deadly weapon. The world was a dangerous place and he had the remedy for all it's ills in the form of melody. He'd share his special brand of music once he got out of this meeting and dispose of all the frogs for good.
Showing posts with label erhard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label erhard. Show all posts
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
092
Melanie bent over and threw up. That was possibly the best ride she'd ever been on. Erhard crossed his arms and sneered. It wasn't clear if he was still upset about being drowned out by the buzz of Davis' arrival or if he was disgusted by Melanie's latest outburst. Davis looked quietly pleased irrespective of the root cause of his new comrades melancholy (not that their disparate dispositions were necessarily related). And Koopa/Daly continued to wail his/her indefetigable groan.
"What was that you just did?" said Melanie, after she'd recovered.
Davis knelt in starter block postition beside her "A valid question. We needed to get to safety. There's no telling how many agents of the eighties have already crossed over. So, I warped us here to this previously prepared secure way station, where I will brief you on what exactly the hell is going on."
"Good, but can you make it quick, I need to get back to the future, present, past or where ever we were to take care of some urgent, business." said Erhard
"Lets hear it, I suppose." said Melanie, when she really meant to say this is insane.
"OUAGHGHAO" said Koopa/Daly
"Excellent, lets begin then."
"What was that you just did?" said Melanie, after she'd recovered.
Davis knelt in starter block postition beside her "A valid question. We needed to get to safety. There's no telling how many agents of the eighties have already crossed over. So, I warped us here to this previously prepared secure way station, where I will brief you on what exactly the hell is going on."
"Good, but can you make it quick, I need to get back to the future, present, past or where ever we were to take care of some urgent, business." said Erhard
"Lets hear it, I suppose." said Melanie, when she really meant to say this is insane.
"OUAGHGHAO" said Koopa/Daly
"Excellent, lets begin then."
Thursday, November 13, 2008
83.
ribit, ribit
"If you don't mind I was here first, and as you can see the situation is dire. Now you've said your piece about the 80's, horrible decade, but we've got our own problems to deal with." said Erhard
"With all due respect sir, with a wardrobe like that, you look to be the least qualified to make any comments on what was or wasn't, is or isn't fashionable. The 80's had its short comings to be sure, but it's ready to make a comeback." said Davis
"OAUGHUEHHE" said Daly and Koopa.
Erhard snuck a glance at his outfit, it was bright yellow and red, of course he knew that already, but he wasn't used to being insulted by strangers that materialised in brilliant flashes of light, he found it to be rather rude; All the more so, because his reclamation of the proverbial talking stick was so short lived, he'd been disarmed by the cocky guest almost immediately. He tried again" "Who said anything about fashion?" was all he could come up with. After that he thought of a million other things that would have been a hundred times wittier.
Melanie was about to make a psychological breakthrough and disencumber a portion of her inner child before these two strange men appeared on the scene, although they were no less strange than the man she was already dealing with, perhaps they leaned a little closer to normality than this ever-groaning zombie guy and for that she was resentfully grateful. Here she was getting bailed out again, same old Mel. Between these freaks, the redundant, overly abundant frogs; and the worst date of her life (the only date), she couldn't see how an invasion from the eighties could make things any worse.
"Authors with bad ideas, the return of the 80's, I don't understand." she said.
It looked like Erhard's attempts at heroism were marginally interesting at best to these people. They obviously couldn't be bothered with anything he had to say. Sometimes he didn't know what the point was in trying.
"All will be explained, friends." pronounced Davis, which was a rather forward relational label given that none of the group knew anyone else's name.
A ball of light surrounded them and shrank in on itself until they all disappeared. That's when Brandon showed up (and died).
"If you don't mind I was here first, and as you can see the situation is dire. Now you've said your piece about the 80's, horrible decade, but we've got our own problems to deal with." said Erhard
"With all due respect sir, with a wardrobe like that, you look to be the least qualified to make any comments on what was or wasn't, is or isn't fashionable. The 80's had its short comings to be sure, but it's ready to make a comeback." said Davis
"OAUGHUEHHE" said Daly and Koopa.
Erhard snuck a glance at his outfit, it was bright yellow and red, of course he knew that already, but he wasn't used to being insulted by strangers that materialised in brilliant flashes of light, he found it to be rather rude; All the more so, because his reclamation of the proverbial talking stick was so short lived, he'd been disarmed by the cocky guest almost immediately. He tried again" "Who said anything about fashion?" was all he could come up with. After that he thought of a million other things that would have been a hundred times wittier.
Melanie was about to make a psychological breakthrough and disencumber a portion of her inner child before these two strange men appeared on the scene, although they were no less strange than the man she was already dealing with, perhaps they leaned a little closer to normality than this ever-groaning zombie guy and for that she was resentfully grateful. Here she was getting bailed out again, same old Mel. Between these freaks, the redundant, overly abundant frogs; and the worst date of her life (the only date), she couldn't see how an invasion from the eighties could make things any worse.
"Authors with bad ideas, the return of the 80's, I don't understand." she said.
It looked like Erhard's attempts at heroism were marginally interesting at best to these people. They obviously couldn't be bothered with anything he had to say. Sometimes he didn't know what the point was in trying.
"All will be explained, friends." pronounced Davis, which was a rather forward relational label given that none of the group knew anyone else's name.
A ball of light surrounded them and shrank in on itself until they all disappeared. That's when Brandon showed up (and died).
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
62.
Melanie had seen and heard all that she could stand so she leaped into the air, borrowing athleticism from the ether. She landed accessorized with a shiny thigh band, formerly the jaws of her would be captor, it made her feel like an amazon or Xena or one of the 'vixens' from the WWE. She'd need every confidence that she could contrive after walking into a real life horror film, the zombie-like creature's droning seemed to increase as the distance between them closed . No more would be saviours, no more tardy teachers, she was in this on her own, the architect of her own destiny. She clenched her fists, bracing for the final confrontation.
"Ahem, excuse me. Sir, Maam, I need a hand please." said a man dressed in bright red & yellow.
"Ahem, excuse me. Sir, Maam, I need a hand please." said a man dressed in bright red & yellow.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
54.
ribit, ribit
The paddy wagon turned a corner and hit a thick patch of green ice (the new term for multiple frogs affecting driving conditions). It wavered in its course, then gave in to its high centre of gravity, toppling over. One small crash for men, one giant leap for the fatalities of frog kind. The statistics were staggering, but no matter how many herps hopped to that great lily pad in the sky their numbers were always bolstered seemingly by some ancient hyper hydra spell, remove one frog and a million would take its place. Not even rabbits could procreate this quickly, even if you couldn't do the math, something didn't add up.
Erhard crawled out of the back of his transportation. Hadn't this happened in Commando, except Arnie was liberated by a rocket launcher that blew up the vehicle without causing him injury? The cops in this ride had been spared the fate of their movie counterparts, but were out cold in the front. Erhard managed to emerge relatively unscathed. This could be the hero turn he was looking for.
Ironically the frogs were Erhard's mini saviours, he could've bundled them all up there (the ones that had aided him in his miraculous escape) and showered flowery German kisses over every one -- if they hadn't already been smeared like a healthy looking yet strangely off putting condiment across the tarmac. There was no time for this sentimental sniveling, action was required, but first he needed to get his bearings. He decided to ask the peculiar couple who were fidgeting around and trying on the public rubbish bin?
The paddy wagon turned a corner and hit a thick patch of green ice (the new term for multiple frogs affecting driving conditions). It wavered in its course, then gave in to its high centre of gravity, toppling over. One small crash for men, one giant leap for the fatalities of frog kind. The statistics were staggering, but no matter how many herps hopped to that great lily pad in the sky their numbers were always bolstered seemingly by some ancient hyper hydra spell, remove one frog and a million would take its place. Not even rabbits could procreate this quickly, even if you couldn't do the math, something didn't add up.
Erhard crawled out of the back of his transportation. Hadn't this happened in Commando, except Arnie was liberated by a rocket launcher that blew up the vehicle without causing him injury? The cops in this ride had been spared the fate of their movie counterparts, but were out cold in the front. Erhard managed to emerge relatively unscathed. This could be the hero turn he was looking for.
Ironically the frogs were Erhard's mini saviours, he could've bundled them all up there (the ones that had aided him in his miraculous escape) and showered flowery German kisses over every one -- if they hadn't already been smeared like a healthy looking yet strangely off putting condiment across the tarmac. There was no time for this sentimental sniveling, action was required, but first he needed to get his bearings. He decided to ask the peculiar couple who were fidgeting around and trying on the public rubbish bin?
Friday, September 19, 2008
50.
Erhard was bundled into the back of a paddy wagon. He'd envisioned things going differently. It had only been a suggestion.
Frogs had quickly become a ubiquitous part of life.
He could really do with his pipe right now.
He thought back on his life, on all the mistakes, and all the great times. He'd always managed to out maneuver the law in the past. Not this time. Maybe he was getting old. Maybe it was time to make amends.
The police vehicle pulled out to the tune of unpleasant sounding squishy noises. Yep, the frogs were pretty much everywhere now.
Frogs had quickly become a ubiquitous part of life.
He could really do with his pipe right now.
He thought back on his life, on all the mistakes, and all the great times. He'd always managed to out maneuver the law in the past. Not this time. Maybe he was getting old. Maybe it was time to make amends.
The police vehicle pulled out to the tune of unpleasant sounding squishy noises. Yep, the frogs were pretty much everywhere now.
Monday, August 25, 2008
31.
On Saturday it rained. On Sunday it threatened to, but didn't make good on it's promise. Instead impotent grey clouds sat sullenly, some might say ominously, in the sun blocked sky. On Monday it for lack of a better term: froged. Countless untold numbers of frogs perpetrated every facet of everyday life.
When the sun comes up, you go about your usual business not giving it a second thought. After all it's come to be expected, what you don't expect is to be greeted by a mountain of seething amphibians emanating from the base of your toilet bowl at 3 0'clock in the morning when all you wanted was to relieve the excess pressure brought on by your enlarged prostate. This occurrence is no less logical then having the sun pop into place each morning, something that Erhard tried to remind himself of as he contemplated the supernumerary frogs which had suddenly been injected into his life.
He knew that there had to be an explanation, there had to be a source and there had to be a reason that he felt an unbridled urge to go looking for his pipe.
When the sun comes up, you go about your usual business not giving it a second thought. After all it's come to be expected, what you don't expect is to be greeted by a mountain of seething amphibians emanating from the base of your toilet bowl at 3 0'clock in the morning when all you wanted was to relieve the excess pressure brought on by your enlarged prostate. This occurrence is no less logical then having the sun pop into place each morning, something that Erhard tried to remind himself of as he contemplated the supernumerary frogs which had suddenly been injected into his life.
He knew that there had to be an explanation, there had to be a source and there had to be a reason that he felt an unbridled urge to go looking for his pipe.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)