Sunday, January 17, 2010


see also: WWJD 0, WWJD 1, WWJD 2, WWJD = What Would Joseph (Smith) Do?

Disclaimer: I think Joseph Smith was a genius, perhaps slightly deluded, but a genius nonetheless...

These have gotten progressively less funny each time. Apologies, as chance would have it I actually live by them, which in some strange way robs them of any humor, yet they maintain a certain standard of absurdity, with which I am rather happy.

We have touched thus far on the events surrounding Joseph Smith's death, add one more to the list: On the night that he was killed smokin' Joe wasn't wearing his temple garments. *Gasp* Just imagine, things could have been vastly different, those bullets could have bounced right off our Testicular Testator, if only he'd done his washing. On my mission and, I'm not joking right now, I was miraculously preserved seemingly by the magical properties of my now owner-less garments (but that's a story for another time). Let this be a lesson to us all, if you don't want to die wear your Gs. It really works I'm told, however the question remains what was he wearing? A tidy pair of undies at the very least one hopes, but the looming specter of going commando is a possibility that cannot be easily dismissed. We may never know. Here's what I do know...

3. Overt or extreme demonstrations of religiosity should be kept to a minimum.

Proselytizing may fall in the a-bit-over-the-top-camp. Which may sound hypocritical coming from a guy who's evangelizing his own ideas about the world to the world, but I didn't physically or virtually spam anyone to get my message out there. Let the forces of the meritocracy decide what will be seen and what wont. You have beliefs fine, we all do, tell me about them sure, just don't bludgeon me to death with them.

Also, I live in a place that's normally around 30 degrees Celsius so temple garments are impractical at best, and annoying at worst, and now that I think about it they just seem really weird. Joseph preached when it was time to preach, drank when it was time to drink, picked up woman when he got the chance, took guns to gun fights (very Ecclesiastes), and wore his religion on his sleeve (and his body) in moderation. I wish we could all be a little more like Joseph.


Anonymous said...

2. Smith ordered apostles to get rid of their garments
"Heber C. Kimball said Smith sent word to the apostles on the east coast to destroy their garments they had received in the endowment since 1842." (Quinn page 147) Quinn references History of the Church 6:519 which mentions the letter, and Heber C. Kimball's diary, 21 Dec. 1845, found in the book "Smith, An Intimate Chronicle, page 224"

3. Smith removed his own garments, instructed other to do the same
"Smith removed his own endowment "robe" or garment before he went to Carthage Jail and told those with him to do likewise. His nephew Joseph F. Smith later explained, "When Willard Richards was solicited [by Smith] to do the same, he declined, and it seems little less than marvelous that he was preserved without so much as a bullet piercing his garments."" (Quinn page 146) Quinn references Heber J. Grant journal sheets, 7 June 1907, LDS Archives.

Loren said...

Mr or Mrs Anonymous thank you for you're input. It's always nice to have references to back up what I say lest the earnest reader think me a lying bastard.

Do you think that Richards really did keep his garments on while the others didn't? Or is it just one of those Mormon myths?

Anonymous said...

I had heard the story of Willard Richards miraculously escaping the Carthage blood bath unscathed, though in my head i had attributed it being due to him being behind the door and away from the guns shooting into the room. That there could be an alternate explanation to it is something i hadn't considered previously. I don't know why Joseph would have taken off his garments, unless he wanted to die or thought it was meant to happen.