THE EARLY YEARS (or my Blue Period)
I, Loren, having been born blah blah,
It began innocently, as most lives do, in the largest city of the most insignificant country, at bottom of the world. The land of the long white cloud, New Zealand, home to the All Blacks, a disproportionate number of the planets sheep population, and a boy who didn't know any better.
I was a quiet child given to bouts of deep introspection, that's how I like to remember it, but in truth I was absent minded and when my attention was diverted from present concerns it found itself focused on nothing in particular. The halcyon days of youth as they say. My later experiments with meditation can no doubt be traced back to those empty headed excursions of my early years.
Time marched on and though I felt out of step with its beat I had little choice but to keep formation. The journey was all do this's and don't do that's. Along the way I was introduced to religion. Nice to make your acquaintance. I had a natural affinity for Mormonism and gravitated toward its monolithic pull. I devoured the doctrine and stories far more rapidly than many of my peers. I thought that I was gifted (which encouraged me to keep learning), but later realized I just happened to grow up around an unusually large amount of unusually slow people.
THE MIDDLE YEARS
OK lets get to the juicy bits, I was a mostly a good mormon boy and ate up absolutely everything I was taught. Ticked all the boxes too: priesthood holder, seminary graduate, endowment recipient, return missionary, multiple callings hog, married in the temple. The last one didn't actually happen. I was well on my way to 3rd degree celestial burns until one day while bored at work I stumbled upon Mormon Stories. Game over. 9 to 5 free internet access can be a dangerous thing.
Mormon Stories (not the type of stories that my teachers told to me bom, bom) was intended to help people struggling with difficult issues relating to the church. It had the opposite effect with me. Poor John, I'm sure in my own small way I contributed to the shutting down of the entire enterprise. Thankfully he's back now, doing what he does best. After smashing through the complete catalogue, I just had to write him (circa August 2008):
Two Dark Knight references in one email. Not bad. TBC