Monday, October 6, 2008


Dear Zero Readers,
Having revealed my belief in a sentient, capricious,(emergent), being otherwise known as the Mighty Internets and having curried it's favour I feel like an abandoned man in the middle of the pacific ocean who only by serendipity happened upon a rubber dingy. Things are looking up. I feel it appropriate to express my appreciation here for the usual things I take for granted, lest that sardonic beast of my own making rise up from the deep and swallow me and my dingy whole. This is the beginning of a kinder, more gentle Loren, sans beasts of any variety.

I'm Grateful:
  • for my incredibly vapid existence, with all the modern convenience which accompanies it, like the Interweb.
  • for chocolate coated, chocolate cream covered, chocolate peanut, chocolate chip, chocolate mud ice cream.
  • that I can windmill dunk even though I'm white.
  • for hot running water.
  • for the general hospitality of most of the human race (many of them wear deodorant).
  • that I have unbelievable abs even when I eat garbage all day.
  • for comics, especially: The Goon, Hellboy, Madman, The Punisher, and Grant Morrison and Alan Moore's brains.
  • that I predicted the financial collapse before it happened (in the same way that Nostradamus predicted all his stuff), we can still get rid of money all together (that BYYD paypal link is on the way).
  • that during the last 10,659 days I haven't died once.

I'm sure there are many more.

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