the evolution of the squat

It used to be that "squat rack" was a misnomer. Most gym rats used them for curls, it was quite annoying. What's more annoying now is that we've got a new generation on the rise and they have the most ridiculous squats I've ever seen. Ridiculous as in far heavier than mine. What is this world coming to? People squating in squat racks, people squating more than me. I met an 18 year old kid the other day and he was squating 180 kgs for reps and he was even braking parallel, no one used to do that either except maybe overweight power lifters, time to up my game or put on some weight or something.

workout>>
squat: 100/3*10
power C&J 60,70,80,90,100,105,110 missed last jerk

volume: 3615kgs

2 for 1 thanks to the crusty-old-naked-guy

Beware the men’s changing room. There must an immutable law written somewhere that there will always and forever be a crusty-old-naked-guy standing guard at every single one of these places. I walk in and I see more than I'm inclined to tell and I weep for humanity. I know it's a changing room and nakedness is bound to ensue at some point, but must you continuously offend my sensitive eyeballs with your painstakingly developed beer gut, your saggy man boobs, and other saggy things. I swear it's the same damn guy every time. Every gym has one. Here's an idea: try putting on some clothes and going home for once. I'm sure you'll start feeling better about yourself immediately or at least I will. Yesterday I slipped up and stepped in to relieve myself, what was my horror when I was met by that ever-present sentinel of manly nakedness. I was so traumatized that I almost forgot I worked out. So here's that session and today's in all their glory. I believe I've learned my lesson. Beware the men’s changing room.

17/12/08
bench 100/3*5,4
chins me(98kgs)/2*10;5

volume: 4350kgs

18/12/08
bent press 20*3 l & r
one arm snatch 40*1 l & r
sumo DL 80*10,120*10,140*8,160*5,180*5,200*5
power C&J 80/2*4,100,105,110 (did split jerk today)

volume: 6975kgs

on gyming it up 3

here's part 2

Health, the converse of the above afflictions which are commonly incumbent on the human condition, is therefore a worthy pursuit and a natural consequence of the tenets espoused by Enlightenment thinkers. Unfortunately doctors, the high priests of modernity[1], have not been wholly successful in actualizing this Enlightenment ideal. Great strides have been taken in the elimination of many diseases to be sure, but the terrifying spectre of death still remains. Short of confronting this fact head on as Camus suggests[2], many men have been content to make the most of what time they have by pursuing this concept of health at gyms as a form of recreation. We certainly have other apparatus’ at our disposal to deal with the stark reality of our mortality (drugs come to mind), but they are more or less distractions, whereas, gym going is one particular activity that continues the spirit of the Enlightenment as far as taming nature is concerned. It may be of small consolation, but a healthy life style is the next best thing that we have to a cure for death. The enlightenment ideal is still alive then, but now modified; men, generally speaking, seek to live for as long as possible in the most ideal way possible. “If you haven’t got your health you haven’t got anything[3].”

What's this, a work out?
front squat 20*10,40*30,20,10
power C&J 60*3,100
power snatch 60*3, 70


[1] Cook: Medicine in Advanced Modernity, p 10
[2] Camus: The Myth of Sisyphus, p 3
[3] Reiner: The Princess Bride

hands

Have you ever tried to power clean with a sprained thumb using a hook grip. I wouldn't recommend the experience. I now have a palm sized blister on my palm. One day it'll probably solidify into a nice callous. My plans for the world's manliest hands are almost complete.

a to g back squat 60*10,115/5*5
hang C&J 60*5
power C&J 70,80,90,100
pull ups (98)/2*10

volume: 6975kgs

escape from imminent destruction

Getting stapled is not a flattering experience. What it is, is simply a failure in an attempt to lift a weight, resulting in the entire gym populace laughing in your face while you try to rack or deload the weight without causing yourself grievous bodily harm. The ego hit is always bad, but things can and do get uglier: last week I saw a guy drop a barbel on his head while benching pressing. In less than 2 minutes it looked like he had a plumb growing out the side of his face. Kids, always use a spotter! I don't recommend getting stapled, the psychological and physical damage just isn't worth it. Conversely some of the most satisfying moments you can have in the gym are when you straddle staple territory and somehow complete your lift. Today I had one of those moments. I was benching. The weight, which was underwhelming as usual, slowed as it came off my chest. Gravity my, arch nemesis in the weight room, thought it had claimed another victory. I think that the bar actually reversed in it's motion momentarily, my gym life flashed before eyes and I decided that I didn't feel like eating any barbell today. I squirmed, I cursed sub-vocally, I bargained with the weight and still it didn't budge. I clenched my but-cheeks and for some reason felt like I was going to tear asunder from my crotch on upwards. Then it happened, like Deus ex machina, except my escape wasn't facilitated by an outward source it was all internal. I finished the lift and lived to see another day. Words can't explain how satisfying this feels.

power snatch: 40*3, 45*3, 50*3, 55, 60, 65, 70, 75
power C&J: 80, 85, 90, 95
bench 60*10, 80*5, 85*5, 90*4
chins (n) me (97kgs)/3*8, 6
db OHP 2(20)/3*10

volume:

How (not) to be an All Black 1

The first step: never, ever, acknowledge publicly that you want to be anything, especially not an All-Black.

*misty dreamy flashback*

When I was a child I coined a painfully trite, but entirely appropriate moniker to describe invariably the process by which the universe operates: Oppositely. That's right, Rhonda Byrne has it all wrong, you can have what ever you want in this world as long as you don't tell anyone, in fact all you need to do is behave in a way that seems completely contrary to what common-sense would dictate. The universe will never see you coming and then suddenly, BOOM, you're working 9-5 in an office, just like you never wanted. Astounded? This is only the beginning.

*snap back to reality, oops there goes gravity*

I vow by Saturn's special needs moon, the uncoordinated Hyperion and by the second rate Marvel Character of the same name who gained some notoriety as a Max series protagonist, and by gingos that I will never be an All Black (It's only a matter of time now people).

A to G Back Squat (which got further and further from my but as the weight and reps built up) 40*5, 60*5, 80*5, 120*5, 120*4

hang clean 40*10, 50*10

power C&J 60, 70, 80, 90,100 (only got the clean part up on the final rep)

simple

I went gym. I met a girl. It was good.

arse to grass back squat 100/3*8, 90*5
power CJ 60*3,62.5*3,65*3,67.5*3,70*3

volume: 3825kgs

"I'm Batman" I think

I watched the Dark Knight and it left me with an overwhelming feeling that can only be summarized as follows: everyone on earth should watch this movie. Not because it's particularly good, no, mainly because it's incomprehensibly, unfathomably, unequivocally, ridiculously good. In saying that it's probably best if I concede that hyperbole can't quite encapsulate the enormity of its goodness. We'll just have to settle for my clumsy description of its ineffable cinematic brilliance.

After seeing it on Saturday night, I walked out of the theatre and into Loren fantasy land. Which of the characters did I identify with the most? In the end I'd say I'm equal parts Joker and Batman in the sense that I'm not at all like either of them, I am neither incomprehensibly rich nor certifiably insane. Trying my best on both accounts though. Lets say that I'm a special kind of Two-Face (who's real world counterpart, Aaron Eckhart, is also a Mormon, good for him), half-batman and half-joker and all things in between. Every time I saw the Batman laying the smack down I got the uncontrollable urge to get buff (yes, I'm considering professional help for this). When I saw the Joker make that pencil disappear I wanted to be a magician. Both we're incredibly intelligent which no doubt has its benifits. In the end though as much as I'd like to be an agent of chaos, Batman wins out mainly because of his story. He took a tragedy, turned it around, set a goal, honed his mind and body to achieve the result he wanted through determined discipline (and he's also a total nut-case but we wont let that weigh to heavily on our opinion). Who would of thought that a comic book character could be so exemplary? Back to reality...

deadlift 140*8, 160*4, 140*8
power C&J 80/3*3
bench 60/2*10

volume: 4800kgs

Kudos to Heath Ledger, by the way, who was amazing as the Joker. I thought all the pre-release hype about his performance was well-meaning well-wishing in honour of the dead. I stand corrected.

cyclone alert

A lot goes into a good work out. I was well on my way when things started getting complicated. I thought the parking proved a difficult task (nothing available immediately outside the gym) until I got to the walk. Between me and my destination? About 600 meters of pavement and a 300 mile an hour of wind. I knew I forgot something: storm warnings promised to be at the intensity of cyclone Bola. I couragously negotiated with the malfunctioning parking meters in unfriendly conditions for several minutes. As I made my way down the home stretch, my cap was blown mercilessly from my head and my hair got all messed up, what would the gym hotties think? Bravely I soldiered on and like a Muslim on a pilgrimage I found my Mecca. Peace be upon you.

Half hour of shooting around (bball).
power clean and jerk 60/2*5
military 40*10,8
seated row 70/2*10 last rep pause
inc press 60*10

volume: 3320kgs