Fantasy exists for a reason. Possibly because of our dissatisfaction with reality. Although reality, or at least our perceptions and beliefs about it, have proven over the course of human history to be quite malleable. Reality, whatever that is, and fantasy intersect at a point of synthesis that we call an individual. Neither of these binary opposites are strictly limited to solipsistic interpretation, there is a broad spectrum of social consciousness that informs the context of our shared understanding about what constitutes reality or fantasy, but it is at a personal level where we experience these elements.
On any given day I can swing from being a fully functioning adult to a pouting emo reprobate. At times I'll convince myself that I'm level headed, logical, above the everyday pettiness that afflicts normal humans. In truth I am all these things, but only occasionally. I still have a lizard brain, emotions, and other bits of biochemistry that derail my best efforts to attain an ideal that in the end may be unhealthy, unrealistic. Perhaps I should give myself over to the fantastic.
There I was sitting in a cinema watching Thor. My expectations set to: this-will-likely-be-worse-than-Ghost-Rider-and-every-hair-piece-Nicholas-Cage-has-ever-worn-combined. Sometimes it's good to set the bar low. Surprisingly it was good, not I'm-going-to-channel-the-little-girl-from-Adventures-in-Babysitting-and-adopt-Thor-as-my-new-personal-god-good, but hey it was fun. For a little while there I suspended my disbelief long enough to wish I was in Asgard wearing some funky cool Jack Kirby inspired garb and fighting for the hearts and minds of its imaginary denizens. It was like I was 12 again and had discovered marvel comics for the first time.
I'm broke, like (pre-fame) Louis CK broke . Before I went to Thor I brought a lotto ticket for a possible $25 million prize. Realistically I have a better chance of being struck by lightening, while being eaten by a shark, while being crashed into by a plane, but at one point my thoughts turned from Asgard to my less than stellar financial situation and since I was already straddling Fantasyland I thought I might as well enjoy it. Have you ever allowed yourself to entertain a thought that is both simultaneously totally ridiculous and unbelievably awesome? I could see all the ways I'd spend the money and hoard it and invest it and laud it. For a brief shining moment it was real. This was Winning on a whole new level. I was delivered from poverty into a whole new set of wonderful privileges and problems. Fooling yourself is dangerous, because it's intoxicating.
After my little pilgrimage to Fantasyland I was alone with myself again. Everything was the same, except that I'd decided to bring a little souvenir back with me: "Whosoever holds this hammer..." Um anyway. Can you change the way you experience the world by changing the way you see the world? I'm angry at the Mormon church (this is always floating somewhere between thoughts, this is me being emo), because I feel they fooled me and worst of all that I was complicit in my own delusion. But If I settle on a new equal but opposite black/white position has anything really changed? As Einstein would suggest "you cannot solve a problem from the same level of consciousness that created it." Why not a world where there is a whimsical interplay between fantasy and reality like Asgard, many people live satisfying lives filtering reality this way. As always there's only one way to find out... I'm a walking on a rainbow bridge. I'm a chaos magician. Belief will change my world.