I am a wandering ronin. A disciple without a master. Doing things for myself can only motivate me so far. When I am engaged in an activity or practice that transcends me, a higher calling if you will, then and only then do I feel fulfilled. At least in theory. Practice is often different from the idealized forms that we attempt to impose onto reality. I want to be myself and more than myself at the same time.
Reality, my oldest and dearest friend, why did you have to go and wreck everything for me. I am a placid individual. The human instantiation of the tao. I bend with the wind and break like wind. I am that I am, and that is all that there is. Times were so much simpler when all I had to do was what other people told me. Now, thinking for myself is the hardest thing that I have ever been required to do.