Our brains begin to hurt when presented with complex information that could lead to multiple contradictory conclusions. Binary thinking is easier on the old or young grey matter: it's all either/or baby. Guess what? I'm generalizing. Star Wars or Star Trek, Ninetendo or Sega, God or the Spaghetti monster thingy (there was a time when these tired dichotomies mattered)? One or the other, but not both.
The will to myth and absolutes is inescapable. It's like "Absolute abstinence is easier than perfect moderation." So when I tell you that I've taken up a monastic lifestyle, replete with sexual inactivity, well that's just far more impressive than my saying I have sex around about once every two decades. Actually both are pretty sad, but please don't bore me with details. Just play along it's so much simpler.
Enter the latest this-possibly-might-be-or-that-might-be-a-good-explanation showdown. Naturally occurring authenticity vs. synthetic (fake?) authenticity. If I was truly true to myself I would do exactly what I'm doing right now. Not much of anything. Tautology alert or Zen nirvana. Looks like we need a contingency plan.
I want to feel what it feels like to be obscenely dedicated to something of my own choosing. Being a member a bizarre religious organization is the closest I've come to achieving this end (I promise one day to stop bringing this up). I can do better. Imagine stepping away from my chronic laziness into a world of pain and suffering and misery and achievement. I want to manufacture out of whole cloth a zest for something. I will be untrue to myself. I will invent my own authenticity.