The End?

Synopsis: Loren leaves his native land of New Zealand to play rugby league in Australia and get paid for it. Loren is old and should have retired by now.

Yesterday we played in one of the million preliminary semi-finals required by the incredibly convoluted McIntyre 5-team final System and we were sadly eliminated, losing by 1 point. Ouch. So, ends the unheralded era of Loren ripping up the light brown league fields of Ozzie. Or is it? Going out the way we did I'm almost tempted to return, but I don't know if my body will hold up. What ever the case, this year has been one of the most educational in recent memory for me. The demands of the weekly grind in preparation for corporeal devastation will not quickly be forgotten. Physical pain can often be a more effective teacher than the contemplative exercise of existential angst. Let's hope I've learned my lesson.

Assessment: Loren plays for the Runaway Bay Seagulls for a meagre fee. It's awesome. Mission accomplished, next mission still pending.

on the way home

I returned to NZ recently on urgent family business and I thought that that may have been the end of my dream to play minor league league in Australia. Reality had unfortunately set in and was leaning toward issuing my marching orders. No job, no money, no house, no way. Fortunately the fates smiled upon my predicament and certain generous parties, whom I shall thank in a less public forum, stepped up to the plate and hit a grand slam, consequently I'm back at home base (the new one on the Gold Coast). I thought it wise to reflect on the lessons of this year thus far, thankfully the journey's not over yet and I can still put them into practice.

• The Secret: There really is no secret, hard work really is the way to make things happen. Talent is good, but it's not the be all and end all in human endeavours and is often overrated. I'm faster than probably 90% of the people that I've run against. I'm stronger than almost anyone I know in wrestling type stuff, which is a huge head start, but I haven't really done anything with it. Work harder.
• Timing is almost everything: I should have done this 10 years ago, it would have been a lot easier.
• Struggling is good for the soul: Going to training (not doing something just because you don't feel like it is not a good reason not to do something), wanting to give up during training, not having the option to eat as often as I'd like, playing hurt, living below the poverty line."All these things shall give [me] experience and be for [my] good."
• I am not an electron: I can't be in two places at once. In rugby league you fully commit to running a line and then you run it. I'm used to hanging back, not fully jumping in because I want to keep my options open. This approach has it's place, but if you want to get stuff done eventually you're going to have to make a decision.

30 something

"My father never went to college, so it was really important I go to college. After college, I called him long distance and said now what? My dad didn't know. When I got a job and turned twenty-five, long distance, I said now what? He didn't know, so he told me to get married. I'm a thirty year old boy, and I'm wondering if another woman is the answer I need." Chuck Palahniuk (channeling Tyler Durden in Fight Club)

What is the answer? That is a perplexing question. Remember Chuck's gay, so that may have sub-consciously influenced the above statement (but probably not). I'm not gay, but it still makes sense to me, marriage isn't on the cards. Good, that's one less thing to worry about.

When Jesus turned 30 he began his ministry and whether you believe him or not he made a reasonably significant impact on history. Whatever the case he was fairly audacious, claiming to be the son of God and the saviour of the world. Not bad, Jesus, not bad. In the sci-fi film Logan's Run population growth is kept in check by putting to death anyone who turns 30. By the time Alexander the Great was 30 he had conquered much of the known world. So many options, so little time.

When I turned 30, today, I played possibly my worst game of football ever and that's about it. The more things stay the same, the more they change. Growing up keeps happening chronologically, but I'm still a boy like the quote says. Where to from here? I predict that I'll continue to get older. So, the only thing left now is legacy and my good looks. "I don't want to become immortal through my work, I want to become immortal by not dying," (cheers Woody) the latter may not be possible, so I'll settle for the former. I've got a lot of not being lazy to do, and when you're a little boy or a big one that's just about the hardest thing there is.

P.S. Happy Birthday to me!