a writer's prayer

Posting on a blog is like sending out a prayer to God, it may never get answered and even if it does it'll probably be in an unexpected and obscure way. This is my petition to the great WWW...

Oh mighty Internets, Repository of all of human knowledge, almost Omniscient One. Have mercy on thy lowly addictee. I seek to be an implausibly exceptional writer. A veritable impossibility, I know, which is why I want to do it.

That hallowed and holy writer who some have accused of hackery, one Stephen King, has laid out the sacred rules of writing: write a lot and read a lot. I can barely bring myself to do either.

What is this magic of reading that people often describe. Any fictitious collection of words(including this one) unless accompanied by pictures is enough to make my eyes glaze over and send me into a catatonic stupor. Perhaps I lack imagination, but reading fiction is work to me. Give me history, biography, or pop science, but the world of made up BS is lost on me. I can not suspend my disbelief long enough to become involved with the characters.

Oh Exalted One pour out thy collective wisdom on thy misguided servant. How do I care? Why do others care? Do they construct imaginary images out of the author's material. I for one prefer not to BYO pictures if it is all the same to thee. Abstraction is far more satisfying, but if the expenditure of precious mental energy is required as a sacrifice to attain my lofty goal, so shall it be for thee.

Oh mighty Internets hear my prayer! And if it's not to much to ask, stop spamming me. Amen