Monday, March 1, 2010

the resistance 1

i am my own enemy
resistance is my nature
i am aware of resistance
and it prevents me from achieving the life that I am meant to have
resistance is self-generated, self-perpetuated
it lies and seduces. its goal is my utter destruction
this moment this day
i change my life
help me to defeat myself
and realize fate
-- Jonathan Hickman

I love this statement. There's so much at play in so few words. For instance: Is entitlement always a bad thing? These days, just like any days, but I'm thinking of these ones particularly, there are some untouchables, pariahs of the dictionary, I'm not talking about words improper to use in polite company -- I like swearing and so do a whole buncha other people -- I'm talking words that many people will try to avoid having associated with themselves at any cost. Now there's definitely a spectrum, laziness is not cool, but it's damn near unforgivable in modern society to be a racist, and if you do anything that shows any predilection for bigotry, your critics will play the: you're-just-afraid-of-us-card, because if there's anything worse than a freeloading slob or a redneck asshole, it's being labeled a fraidy cat.

Maybe underneath we're all a bunch of loosely tangled nerves ready to unravel at the slightest provocation and when someone calls us out, it really hits home, because admitting that you're afraid exposes your vulnerability. Better to maintain the bullshit facade that everything's A OK, rather than face up to your sub-optimal existence. I don't know.

Well, somewhere on the spectrum of these unwanted attributables, I haven't figured out where it falls exactly, there's the entitlement mentality. The greatest generation, the BBs, built this goddamn post-colonial, post-war, post-modern, post-rational western "civilization" through pure grit and determination and then ... we came along. We got it easy now days, and we also all suffer from one variation of ADHD or another. We want what we want right now. This is how the story goes whether it's true or not isn't important. It is what it is. We think our birthright is for us to grow up to be rich and famous after we buy everything we don't actually need. On credit. But one day, you know, the piper will come back to collect. He always does. Gen X, Gen Y don't you fix the entire planet that we fucked up. That's our birthright.

What I'm trying to say is that the spectrum has a shadow side, but now I'm talking in reverse, because two negatives equal a positive or something. So, I might be talking about the bright side of the moon for all we know. Everything can be spun negative or positive. I believe that I'm free. My good friend that I only know third hand, Mr Malcolm X used to say: "Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man you take it." This implies that there are barriers to entry; not in the utilization of freedom, we can all do that, but exercising it to the full effect; to achieve something that garners some sense of satisfaction; we are all entitled to that right. It's just a question of whether we choose to have the tenacity to make it happen.


notes on this post: I just rediscovered pulp fiction for the first time, and this rambling is me subconsciously doing Quentin Tarantino badly. I'm easily influenced.

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