Wednesday, March 4, 2009

free writing 002 king a-hole

I'm walking down a hill, extremely slowly. This is unnatural. Gravity gives me an assist and I give it a roundhouse kick to the face. That's the way I like to do things. I get in position to make things easier than average and just for the sake of wine and vinegar I pull the rug out from under my own feet. It's a brilliant way to unnerve your friends, so good in fact that I don't have any anymore. Hey that's just me, you'll get used to it or you'll get lost. You're a waste of flesh anyway, I bet Hannibal Lecter could make a five star quilt out of your stretch marks alone, a real cosy one to. It'd keep me warm at night. Enough about you, ya see I'm walking down, down, down, ready to come up in China somewhere, but instead I'm greeted by the local aspiring despot.

"You taken over the world yet Jimmy-Bob?" A hyphenated-name, this loser's got no hope.

Jimmy-Bob responds in the only way that doesn't make sense, he knees my testicles. Then kicks out one of my front teeth. Oh Jimmy boy I've underestimated you.

Go get'em tiger.

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