Friday, October 10, 2008

unfinishable

This is my joint review of Lord of the Rings and Moby Dick...

I have suffered for my art. I have attempted to read LotR and Moby Dick several times. Without success. I am somewhere (10 years after a long-expected party) at the Black Gate, and reading through some one's affidavit, I don't know who's, in the tale of the whale (at last count this has taken upwards of 3 years). I'm unhappy to report that these books are really, really, really, really long. Really.

As a counterpoint I present this succinct review and may I one day finish them.

That is all.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

The number of times I have had the exact same problem, sheesh...

Maybe you should try reading it dressed as a hobbit and do a reenactment in the backyard... don't ask why it works, it just does

lorenhops said...

I'll take your word for it. I'm too tall to be a hobbit though, and I don't have hairy feet. However, I'm white, scary pasty white. I reckon I could pull off a mean gigantic albino sperm whale under the right conditions, plus I even have an inflatable kiddie pool out back. I knew it’d come in handy one day.

Anonymous said...

I'd pay to see that. Hmm, maybe you could charge admission and make a tidy profit on the side. If you got the right lighting I'm sure we could make a go of it - I'm a dab hand at cringe inducing covert backyard literature reenactments. Plus you'd probably need to look yourself up in a cupboard for a week beforehand to get the right shade of pasty white dear.

Oooh you should do a musical version! If it works for a couple of high school kids and a basketball court, I'm sure gigantic albino sperm whale in the backyard paddling pool would do wonders =)

Not sure what you'd call it but when your grand kids ask you about what the proudest moment of your life was, well hopefully this makes the top 350.

Embrace your destiny. Be the whale.

lorenhops said...

it's settled then, just call me Moby