Sunday, September 28, 2008

Political Posturing

Hi I'm Loren and I'm from New Zealand. Kangaroo's don't live here and we're not a state of Australia. We're Kiwis and our politics and economy don't matter outside the borders of our own country. To help me overcome my nation's collective inferiority complex I like to keep abreast of the news abroad. Yesterday was the first debate on the way to the US presidential election, so between moving house, watching WALL-E the movie and suffering through the NZ Warriors quarter final loss, I found the time to catch snippets of said debate.

If you're looking for intelligent, well informed analysis you've come to the wrong place (it could be worse, you could be watching fox news). As well as determining the future leader of the free-world, the campaign trail also provides more than its fair share of entertainment value. And that's why I like to watch. I'm an old time pro wrestling fan, so I like to simplify things into 2 basic categories: goodies and baddies (I didn't know what a face or heel was when I was a kid, so give me a break). As I watched yesterday I couldn't always process fully what the candidates were saying, most of the time they seemed to veer off the question on mostly self serving tangents. I can't really blame them, of course that's what they'd do. What I could grasp and what stood out the most to me was the way that each man carried himself.

Obama wasn't quite as sharp as usual he seemed to stumble over his words from time to time. Even so, he came across as respectful, confident and stately. How can I put this, he the man. McCain on the other hand never looked Obama in the eye, he sneered and chided with mean spirited fake laughter (I really can't stand that type of thing) and blinked like his eyelids were a hummingbird's wings. Can you guess who I think the baddies is? Another of McCain's favourite moves was the patented Oh you poor misguided fool condescending talk. All politics aside, going strictly on a superficial basis, McCain seems like a real dick.

I've got to admit that I'm biased and I'd be guilty of reverse-racism if I was actually black, as it is I'm a special kind of racist, an exoticist maybe. Black people are cool and that's almost enough for me to cast my vote with Obama, in my lame uninformed popularity contest type of way (hey, isn't that what politics is all about). But wait there's more: I don't know why it is, but I always have to back the underdog. A lot of people are like this, may be because we're all our very own special interest group, and no one is more of a misunderstood, unjustly persecuted underdog then ourselves. We identify with the little man vs. the rest of the world, the small rebel force taking on the evil empire. And who in history has been more down trodden and victimized then the Blacks, maybe only the Jews? Who better to represent the evil empire then McCain. Who's going to go great guns on these punks, it's Barack taking on Washington, it's me unabashedly revealing my unPC views on the interweb. Don't let the man hold you down. In the end, we shall overcome...

Chalk up one more for the good guys.

P.S. McCain you can stop blinking now. Please.

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